Two posts, in two days, after two months without one. Well, what caused me to fall off the wagon? Two vacations, in a one month period, you know, I was just out here living my best life! Or was I?
Social media seems to be exploding with the term, “living my best life.” You can scroll Instagram, at any moment, and see hundreds of thousands of pictures (264,706 and counting, to be exact) tagged with the term. Anything from casually posing on a beach, to a slice of AvoToast and latte, at a swanky NYC brunch spot post Sunday Vinyasa to buying that new multi-thousand dollar designer bag. While yes, these are all acts that make us feel as if we’re living out best lives, are we?
I am not even sure who coined the term, but I’d love to get their outlook on it…
I am sure it wasn’t Cardi B., either. (Love you, Cardi, I feel some of your lyrics deep in my soul, which is hilarious and confusing at the same time, because 34.) So, everyone is buzzing about “living their best life,” but how do we actually do it?
This post was sparked by my old friend, Jen (If you’re not following her blog, My So Called Wife, what are you waiting for?) She threw me a text last Thursday morning that simply said, “Please keep living your best life ever!” It made me stop dead in my tracks and evaluate.
She was right; she saw it.
I am living my best life and not for the reasons that one may think.
To me, living your best life is what you can give to this world. The best thing you can give is your authentic self. At almost 35 years old, I finally feel that I have finally relaxed into who I am. I’m relaxed. I am myself, unapologetically. While some didn’t agree with them, I am confident with the roads I have taken and have faith in where they’re leading. I’ve dissected my choices and found lessons in them. I am excited. I am excited to share my story with people, because it wasn’t always like this. And believe me, it’s a constant work in progress. I have my “oh, what the f**k is this shit?!” moments.
Living your best life is being aware of your thoughts and your projections. It’s asking a friend “hey, am I projecting right now?”
It’s not doing shit you hate.
It’s helping others even if you don’t have much to give (keep in mind a simple “how are you today?” text message goes a long way).
It’s taking care of your health because you only have one body and one life, so add some fruit, maybe some tomato juice, to that Tito’s you’re posting to your feed, that’s captioned “living my best life.”
This includes mental health. It’s okay to not be okay; I learned that first hand while suffering through crippling anxiety and a dark spell of depression. I was trying to control my life and was panicking over the future. It’s axing the stigma around therapy. We all need someone to hold our feelings and to hold space for us. Living your best life is holding space for others, too. It’s not judging.
It’s saying, “I love you, but I need time alone to recharge, I’ll be back soon.”
It’s saying “I love you” even if you don’t hear those three words repeated back to you.
It’s practicing your passions even if it’s as simple as writing a baby blog or singing to your dog when you have the worst voice ever. It’s doing, speaking and acting out what’s important to you. It’s being honest with yourself and it’s being honest with others. It’s keeping your boundaries and teaching people how to treat you.
It’s doing away with negativity and catching yourself when you have a negative emotion (we all have them, it’s catching them that’s important).
Make friends with or spend more time with someone you can learn from.
It’s living your values, it’s being committed to growth, it’s being aligned, it’s deep conversations, it’s a hard conversations, it’s letting go.
People will see when you’re living your best life, even if you don’t see it yourself at first.
So, what are you really doing to live your best life ever?