A Few Life Theories, As Told By A Thirty-Something

By the time we are in our thirties, we’re supposed to know what we’re doing in life, right?  Undergrad done, maybe a Master’s finished or on deck, great career, married, maybe a kid or two, bought that house in the suburbs, wave to your neighbor as you’re mowing the lawn.  You’re in your thirties, you have it all together, right?

For me, as you know from this blog post, nah.  I had it all backwards and that’s okay.

I won’t lie, as an adult, a lot of the time, I find myself just pretending that I know what I am doing in life.  Literally, I grab that large java, and set out to attack my day pretending to know what I am doing.  65% of the time, I trip out of my local coffee shop.  I’m a klutz, it is what it is.

With that, I’ve done this before, but as I change and get older, my theories change.  I’ve complied a small list of theories that I know for sure.  The first is based on my last blog post.

  1.  The obvious:  What can go wrong, will go wrong.
  2.  At 34, it’s necessary to use the bathroom before I leave anywhere.  And go as soon as I get anywhere.
  3.  Good people make bad decisions.
  4.  “I was wrong” and “I am sorry” go a very long way.  Unfortunately, more times than not, it doesn’t go further than that.
  5. Laughing until your belly hurts, you lose urine and tears stream down your face is one of life’s greatest joys.  I am happy I was born for those moments, alone.
  6.  Social Media has ironically both significantly weakened and strengthened connections.
  7.  Picking up the telephone to have a quick conversation means more than I can ever explain.  This is coming from someone who hates, but understands the importance of, talking on the phone.
  8.  You will never regret a work out, even if it’s just a walk, or eating well.  Take care of your body now, before you regret it later.
  9.  Don’t call me pretty.  Call me strong, call me intelligent, call me inspiring, call me sexy.  Don’t you dare call me pretty.
  10.  I can’t stress the importance of a social media hiatus.
  11.  Climate change is a real thing.  It’s A THING, guys!
  12.  There is nothing wrong with laying on your couch for an entire Sunday and doing nothing.  Sometimes, being mindless is necessary.  (I said sometimes.)
  13.  Self care isn’t selfish!
  14.  “Better out than in!” -Shrek
  15.  You will undoubtedly outgrow people in your life and as hard as it is, you have to wish them the best and let them go.
  16.  “There’s levels to this” is a perfectly acceptable response to almost anything.  Trust me, I say it all the time.  It usually goes over well, unless I am talking to someone 60 or above.
  17.  Healing from trauma is so, so necessary.  Stay tuned for an upcoming post on this extremely important topic.
  18.  Solo dance parties, in your underwear, can cure the blues for almost anything.  My personal go-to is “Get Me Bodied” by the Queen herself, Beyonce, “The Way You Make Me Feel” by the King, MJ, and “Hands to Myself” by Selena Gomez are my go-to’s.  This is probably why I am single.  But also why I am deliriously happy for the most part, lately.
  19. Grit is essential.
  20. Ladies, you can never have enough quality leggings.  Leggings are pants.
  21. With that, there is nothing better than a shade of lipstick or a high heel that can put the Fear of God in a man.
  22. But also, fear can go **** itself.
  23. Taking everything personally or internalizing things will cripple you.
  24. Sex only strengths attachments, NOT true connections, and can confuse lust for love.  Bare your soul before you bare your body.
  25. Courage is knowing something might hurt and doing it anyway.  The same goes for stupidity.
  26. You never know who is watching you.  (Re: inspiration.)
  27. You are who you hang out with.
  28. Karma isn’t what you put into the world, it’s a mirror.
  29. Crying is essential.
  30.  Listen to your gut, it knows what’s up.  (But also, gut health is important!)
  31. If you never ask, the answer is always “no.”
  32. Go to the doctor for your physicals, get yourself checked out (STD tests, too, my friends!), floss your teeth, meditate, eat less sugar, drink more water, move more.
  33.  The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is still the best album ever written.
  34.  Everything is a FGO… a F**king Growth Opportunity.

All of my deepest love,



via Daily Prompt: Theory

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