8/24/2017 – today is three things: Day 236 of 365 of 2017, the oldest I’ve ever been and the youngest I’ll ever be again, which is also Day 1 of me being 34. Today is my birthday.
Typically, you will find people saying how they had their best year ever and they’re looking forward to what the forthcoming year has in store for them…. Well, I am going to throw a little wrench in here, because by now, y’all know I am not a a pretender.
Year 33 was the year that life/God/my Spirit Guides got in my face and straight up said, “nah uh, honey, PLOT TWIST.” And just like that my world was upheaved. The life that I planned for myself, “married to a nice man by 28, own a house in Bergen County by 30, hopefully have a child by 33” was now over. Besides my home and my new career, with the company I’ve been with for 8yrs, now what? But here is what is so funny, it’s “the life I planned for myself.” Was it over before I knew it? Now hold that thought, I will go back to that.
After a few pity parties with myself, a small weight gain, a few days of not showering and endless Netflix and ice cream binges (yes, Netflix, I am still here, mind your damn business and look away!) I realized that this isn’t me. I am not sedentary.
Now, rewinding back to my previous statement regarding the life I planned for myself, what I didn’t realize was this setback was actually a catapult into the life that was already planned for me. Tricky, right? This sh*tfest of a year actually turned out to be the year that I am most grateful for. It was the year that I needed most to prepare me for the life that is unfolding before me. See, everything that happens is actually preparing us for something else; that next level of life that we don’t know about yet. The Universe knows exactly what it is doing.
My grandfather, who I think I loved most in my lifetime always said “if you need help, look at the end of your two arms.” Here is what this year taught me:
- This year taught me what true faith is, you can’t see it, you just have to trust in the Universe, God, your Spirit Guides, whichever Higher Power, there is a reason for everything. This year guided me to believe in something
- This year taught me that the only way out is through. While, yes, I do love running, there is no running away from life
- I found myself in a new gym, new surroundings, new faces, just…new
- The year forced me to live alone, all on my own, and learn how to do things around a house that I never thought I’d do. Shoutout to YouTube!
- This year forced me to focus completely on me, something I don’t think I’ve ever done
- Boundary enforcement
- This year showed me my Achilles’ Heel and where I could do better
- I learned true forgiveness for others and myself
- I found some pretty amazing soul sisters that I am grateful for
- I learned how to be the human, woman, friend and partner that I am proud to be and will always strive to be
- I found myself closer to my family than I’ve ever been
- It taught me that I know better and now I can do better
- The most important lesson: There is ALWAYS a lesson. Don’t question it. If we don’t learn the lesson, we will be forced to repeat the material over and over again until we’re finally defeated, sick of our own bullshit, learn and grow. Growth is a son of a bitch. It hurts. But it hurts more to live in the same cycle of painful patterns.
So, what I felt like was a shit year was maybe one of the cliché hashtag BEST YEAR EVER. So, here’s to 34, I am ready and intrigued by the next 365 days.
I also learned that cake smashes aren’t only for first birthdays.
I am: 34ys old, 63.5in’ish, 143lbs, have 28 teeth, and I’m extremely inquisitive.
My favorite food is: well done fries, apple crumb donuts, crab wontons from Sushi X and thanksgiving dinner any time of the year.
In my sippy cup: Coffee, lo-carb Monster or Diddy Juice.
I love: caffeine, exercising, Botox, astrology/spirituality, eating, being outdoors, and when I laugh so hard I cry, lose pee, and snort all at once.
I hate: waking up 6x a night to make a pee.
Nicknames: AngeZilla. CosmicAnge.
My favorite music is: COLDPLAY. Old school hiphop, 90s alternative, Billy Joel, and French Montana (just popped bubbly in the cuzi).
This last year I learned how to: Survive, thrive, transcend and become the woman that I’m so proud to be.
This year I’m looking forward to: continuing the theme of “living my best life ever.”