Let It Kill You


“… Find what you love and let it kill you.”  But should Bukowski even be credited for this?  Probably not.  I’ll save that for another day and time.  Mindfully, I want to talk about the actual quote, not to whom we should credit.

Today, during my Sunday long run of twelve miles, (for the non-runners, a “long run” is sort of a staple in your training schedule, it’s typically 20%, give or take, of what you normally run each week), I had a lot of time to think and meditate.  When I’m in my element (nature, my people, nature!  It completely turns me on), I get all sorts of Spencer Pratt and my psychotic spiritual emotions get revved.  I thought about how grateful I am for the ability to jump out of bed my comfortable bed, in my little home that’s mine, throw on my gear, drive my car to the trail and move my legs.  I thought about my life, my career, my relationships, what’s working, what’s not, things I can improve on, things I need to fall back from and I thought about how much I actually love the sport of running.

Just about four years ago, in 2013, I couldn’t truly run a full mile without stopping to walk (and for those that don’t know my entire story, my highest weight when I was younger was 170lbs on my 5’3 1/2″ frame.  I know, pics or it didn’t happen, but I’ll spare you and save the pictures for a later date).  That same year, I ran a 5K (3.1 miles) clocking in around 9 minutes and change.  I was just excited that I didn’t have to stop.  Slowly but surely, I dabbled more into running, after starting to run more with an old friend, I realized that runner’s high is totally a thing.  A real one.

Image result for runners high

While I train my body (at this point, I am simultaneously training this heart and mind of mine) six days a week alternating between running, weights, HIIT, and spin, this is what I love most.  How did I realize I was passionate about this?

LIFEHACK, I tried this game changing activity called tuning into myself and my emotions!  Yeah, it’s totally a thing and I suggest trying it if you haven’t.  This is how I knew that this was a passion and I guarantee you will know, too:

  • I do it with intention
  • I plan my day the night before and go to bed early, even on weekend nights (shocker, like every other night… welcome to my mid-thirties!) while looking forward to the next morning
  • I easily jump out of bed, with excitement, extremely early to do it

My morning view during my 6am wake up call today (yes, 6am on a Sunday, I wasn’t kidding when I said I am excited to do it):


  • I lose all track of time when I am out there (7am, start of mile one)


  • I find ways to squeeze in extra runs even if they’re two miles
  • My life and answers come to me clearly as I meditate while running
  • To spin off the above bullet:  I flow.  I realize that my best performance happens without me trying my hardest (like anything in life, when you try too hard, it just.. I don’t know, it just doesn’t work.  So don’t do it!)
  • I embrace the aches and pains that come with the territory (pass the foam roller)
  • I’ve learned to train my mind to be strong; the body is secondary
  • It makes me proud of myself and of what I do with my mind, body, soul


We all know the old sayings that go a little like, “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” or “do what you love and watch the money follow.”  (Pardon me, while I wipe this cake batter off of my face.)  I don’t know if the money will follow me, with this passion, but like anything in life, you never know what the next day may bring so appreciate the present.  And I will never say never to my aforementioned statement.

So, for today, I’ll take another day that I got to do what I love, I’ll take the miles, the 8:35 overall nonstop pace and the feelings of true gratitude, happiness, and inner peace that came along with it.

All my love,



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