Total Bullshit. (NSFW, NSFK.)

bull·shitˈbo͝olˌSHit/
vulgar slang
noun
noun: bullshit
  1. 1.
    stupid or untrue talk or writing; nonsense.
verb
verb: bullshit; 3rd person present: bullshits; past tense: bullshitted; past participle: bullshitted; gerund or present participle: bullshitting
  1. 1.
    talk nonsense to (someone), typically to be misleading or deceptive.

Oh, well, look what the cat(s) dragged in.  A whole month since I’ve flooded your feed with some writing, a topic, a thought, a rant.  I know I promised that I wouldn’t ever take this long between updates, but, unfortunately, sometimes promises are broken.  In this case, it was for good reason:  Silence is better than bullshit.

 

In September, I was extremely busy; totally all over the place.  As I previously mentioned, in August, I started a new venture with the company I have been with for eight years.  It’s great, I am loving it, I am learning, I am beyond busy with getting acclimated and things have progressed this week quicker than I expected, but hey, IT’S ALL GOOD.  Watch what you manifest!    In other parts of life, I have been a little more introverted than usual.  Yes, I am actually introverted.  Once I was told that I am the most introverted, extrovert ever.  I can agree.  I like my alone time, probably way too much and I won’t lie, I have been in a funk.  I have these quarterly meltdowns and just need to be alone.  I needed time to really just not think.  I didn’t have a topic to write about and my thoughts just weren’t there.  Again, silence is better than bullshit because my writing would have been just that, shit.  So here’s what I am sharing with you tonight:  Bullshit.  Things that I feel are total b*lls to the wall BULLSHIT.

Image result for bullshit

Let’s face it, bullshit is everywhere.  Our country’s current state regarding politics, the way people treat each other, the fact that $20 bills aren’t hundreds, the fact that having over a certain amount of animals is considered hoarding… (okay, kidding, hoarding is a serious topic, I just love animals), humans everywhere but no humanity, etc.  So, here is what I feel is total bullshit, right here, right now.

Welcome to October, Breast Cancer Awareness month.  This topic hits very close to home for me as my grandmother (whom I was named after) passed away from breast cancer.  I think we can all agree that there is not a cure (well, that we know of) for this devastating disease yet.  Total f**king bullshit.  Also, here’s a friendly reminder ladies:

Image result for mammogram you boobs dont instagram

People who complain that they’re single and they just don’t know why (different from people who are single and choose to be single, date, etc. this is specifically the “I don’t know why” clan).  Okay, let’s take a twenty to evaluate:  Do you put yourself out there?  What are you actually looking for?  Do you even know?  Are you happy with yourself?  That is EXTREMELY important.  Are you bullshitting yourself?  What do you have to offer?  What are your values?  But are you a psychopath?  Are you going after the same types over and over again?  Have you looked at your social media posts recently?  (Women and men alike, if a potential employer screens you this way, no doubt a potential lover will, too.)

Screw Patti Stanger, let me help you.

I think that it’s total bullshit that I can’t eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, French Fries, pizza, and ice cream every day of my life and not gain weight.

Presidential debates:  Important but bullshit.

Rapists who walk the streets free, bullshit.  Bullshit that needs to be castrated.

Shitty people and their shitty behavior.  You’re bullshit.  Smarten up.

When recycle bins aren’t available, it’s 2016, care about the planet people!  BS!

Montreal and their pitbull bullshit law that was turned over, for now, because it’s bullshit!

Being considered a grown up.  Dumb bullshit.  Some days I can’t figure out which shoe goes on which foot.  Leave me alone and let me somehow get through the day.

Excuses:  whether it’s you giving yourself an excuse as to why you skipped your workout, the excuse your friend gave you for cancelling (love you Porzia, we both really forgot!), the excuse as to why I had to eat that 5th slice of pizza (but, I was hungry?  Bullshit, I am an animal and wanted that 5th slice) or the excuse that boy/girl (note: boy/girl, men and women don’t give excuses) you’ve been “dating” for 6mos gives you for not wanting more.  Smell it.  You smell that?  Ahhhh.  Caca. 

Verizon Wireless and their bullshit iOS10 update that everyone is complaining about and what I even pay for cell service, bullshit.

Humans but no humanity:  BS.

People complaining about their romantic lives on social media.  Hey, wackjob, the person you’re publicly advertising your sadness over, vague or not, is probably salivating and relishing in your tear stained keystrokes.  Listen to me, your soul sister, get it together!  You’re only asking for screen shots to be passed around.  If you’re a dude, it’s even worse.  Lock that shit down.  You’re welcome.

People complaining about things, period, but never changing them.  BSSSS.

Paying for bullshit contaminated water.

Bullshit apps that have people literally photoshopping their entire faces and bodies.  YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE.  Maybe you think it’s total bullshit of me to say that considering I got my nose permanently fixed, after being made fun of my entire life, chose silicone over saline after a 50lb weight loss and I get injections to prevent wrinkles…That’s fine, this is what I really look like.  Fix the wall behind you.

I love singing in my car.  My voice is terrible.  But my God, if Shawn Mendes’ Stitches comes on, it’s all over.  ALL OVER.  I think it’s bullshit that my voice is a high pitched mix of a 12yr old prepubescent boy and Fran Dresher.

Image result for the nanny

Slaughter houses:  BULLSHIT.

Snobs in my area:  Bullshit.

Ungrateful people:  Bullshit.

People who don’t call each other on their bullshit:  BULLSHIT.  I am the ultimate caller.  If I love you, I will call you on your bullshit day and night, nonstop, you’ll be annoyed, you’ll hide, you’ll say I am rough (Hey, Kristy), you may even hate me, run, and never talk to me again, but guess what?  I do it because I see great in you:  Not shit.

I could go on and on all night but I have to go to bed since the (NEW!) gym is calling for my 5am workout and quite honestly, I am old and crotchety.  I need my rest.  I hope you all have an amazing night and appreciate that I didn’t feed you some BS instead of something that was heartfelt!

XX,

AAS.

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Total Bullshit. (NSFW, NSFK.)

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