Chill Out. Literally. Why This Will Help You Do Just That…

This is going to be a little of a lengthy one.  A good one… but a lengthy one (that’s what she said.. sorry, I had to).  So get ready!  I am very excited for this post since I collaborated with a good friend of mine who is an expert, on this topic, that I am going to share with you all tonight.

If you follow The Thirty Something on Facebook you would have seen me post about today being the start of The Mercury Retrograde In Virgo (yes, I believe in this, hard).  A significant part of the Retrograde is relaxation, reflection, renewing and rewriting.  (It’s also the time to NOT travel yet I am going away for business for two weeks…Eek.)


What better way to relax than taking the time to meditate to reflect on the past week, month, maybe even the year?  It’s the time to write a new story.  It’s a time to listen to intuition.  Even if you don’t believe in spirituality or astrology, something that we can all agree on is that taking the time to sit, reflect, cleansing your mind, and chilling the F out is essential to our mental and physical health.  I know, I know, coming from someone who is always on the go, why should you believe me?  Well, if you don’t believe me, believe Dave.  Who is Dave you ask?  Let me introduce you.

Dave Gandelman is the founder of Grounded Mind.  He is a homegrown Bergen County boy, a skilled meditation coach, an educated man and a good soul.  He’s also my friend who I’ve had the pleasure of working with this week!  Dave let me ask him a few questions regarding the art of meditation.  It’s so easy be a beginner and think, “S*it am I doing this all wrong?!”  Truth is, you’re not, and also it’s a huge step to just try.  So, round of applause for yourself.

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I am so proud of Dave and all that he has accomplished and I am very glad that I get to share his information with all of you!

Without further ado, here is my Q&A, with Dave!

A:  First and foremost, thank you so much for doing this with me!   Here is my first question:  I consider myself to be an empath, I feel a lot.  A ton.  “Noise” and thoughts enter my mind and it can be difficult to be grounded.  Is noise normal?   For others, like me, how do you suggest removing the “noise” from their minds during meditation? 

Dave:  “I want to start with this question.  Almost every woman is a professional empath by birth. The feminine aspect in each of us, whether we are male or female, has the ability to feel other people’s energy and emotions. The dark side of that ability is when we start absorbing those feelings and become negatively effected by them. Now the trippy part in my experience and what I teach, is that on a psychic level you can be effected not only by other peoples’ emotions, but by their thoughts as well…and at a distance. So we have a society that is so interconnected through social media, and other forms of communication, that we’ve become completely overwhelmed with energy and information. It’s no wonder that over 80% of American workers say they are stressed. We have an epidemic of mental noise, emotional overloading, and a lack of energetic space in our society. The good news is every problem has a solution, and this is where meditation comes in.

I tend to be a person that likes to go into the deep end and find the root cause of things, and really understand human nature. So when I approach something like stress, with my students, I don’t just ask them to focus on their breath for five minutes and repeat a mantra. I encourage them to look deeply into the true cause. We have a natural ability to feel, but we also have an ability in meditation to see. We can see the cause of our stress, sadness, or limitations, inside of our mind’s eye, by becoming quiet, paying attention, and asking the right questions…and then release it.

With a combination of meditation tools that I teach, such as grounding yourself, releasing other people’s energy, clearing out the noise in your head, and having good boundaries, a person can become more aware of energy and how it effects them. They can actually begin to, in a real way, to see energy, in the form of a thought, emotion, or intention, and recognize they are responsible for their own feelings of stress, loneliness, or unhappiness. And it’s an amazing thing to take responsibility for your space and how you feel, and start healing yourself from the inside out. You’d be surprised how quickly someone can shift their energy by meditating properly. 

However I don’t want to make it sound easy. It takes time and energy to master your space, and you can’t do it by meditating five minutes a day. You can’t spend 12 hours a day creating an energetic mess, absorbing everyone else’s pain and emotions around you, and five minutes cleaning it up. You have to work at it like anything else.

There were days in my meditation training where we would sit 8-10 hours a day. Now I’m not suggesting that as a practice, but just to give you a sense of commitment. It takes decades to master an instrument like the piano, imagine how long it takes to master the human instrument. And so the same way a piano when mastered plays beautiful music, the human being mastered radiates peace, happiness and love. Love is the human form of music, and most music is written around the inspiration of love.

So my suggestion to your readers would be, don’t wait! Start now if you haven’t. Sit down, make a commitment to yourself that you are no longer happy with the background noise of stress and invalidation that follow you around day and night, and make a concerted effort, with a real intention to shift, and you will.”

A:  What if strong emotions enter the mind?

Dave:  “The first thing to be aware of is, “is this emotion mine?” The body goes into physical pain to let us know something is wrong, and the emotional body goes into emotional pain to let us know something is spiritual off with us, or someone around us. If that emotion does belong to someone else, it needs to be recognized, neutralized and released. Then check in and see if there is something you need to do to help the other person or if you just need better boundaries. Every emotion has a purpose, so if it does really belong to you, then what would it say if it could talk. “I feel sad, I feel lonely. I’m not being fulfilled enough. I want to change my life path.” Great, now you’re getting clear communication from your inner-self. So rather than getting stuck on the feeling, find the message. Once you’ve truly understood the message the emotion will start to lose its grip and eventually dissipate. Take your sensitivity, and transform it from being a curse into a blessing.”

A:  Lately, I am huge on mantras.  How do you feel about them and when do you suggest that they be used?

Dave:  “Mantras can be great but sometimes we use them to try and convince ourselves of something we don’t believe is true. That’s why we have to keep repeating it. So if your mantra is “I’m wealthy, I’m wealthy,” but you’re poor, then you are just in denial. Get your ass out of the house and find a way to make money in a legitimate, healthy way. If you are using a mantra to override mental noise then yes, it can work for a while, but you haven’t touched the root cause of why you are so easily effected by the energy of the world and what to do about it. If you are an overly sensitive telepathic person who’s head is full of noise I wouldn’t suggest trying to push the noise out with a mantra, because you will have to repeat that mantra everyday for the rest of your life. Find the root and pull it out. The first month of the Grounded Mind Program, which is what I teach, exclusively focuses on clearing out the noise inside of our heads.”

A:  Should we be asking ourselves questions during meditation?

Dave:  “Yea, ‘why am I sitting doing nothing to solve…something.’ Just kidding. I love asking questions during meditation, but you have to learn the art of seeing answers from your minds eye, otherwise you won’t be able to distinguish a true answer from a false one very easily. True meditation is the art of seeing our answers.”

A:  That first line was hilarious.  Thanks for the laugh.  Is it possible to “fail” during this practice?

Dave:  “You will fail a thousand times over, but ultimately no. Meditation is the safest place in your life you can fail. If you can accept the feeling of failure in meditation, in a flash that will become your moment of success, because meditation is about accepting where we are.  The real question is can you accept that feeling inside yourself without trying to change anything? If you can work on that one thing alone your entire life will transform radically.

A:  Sometimes I find myself meditating during pre or post workout stretching or during my runs?  Is that good or bad?  What are your suggestions?

Dave:  “I love that. Do it. Do whatever works for you, and enjoy it. And meditate while you run as well.”

A:  Lastly, you recently launched a series of guided meditation that is available for purchase.  Can you tell us where we can find the series and how we can purchase it?

Dave:  “Sure. is my site. It’s a subscription site. So every week I send you a new meditation audio into your inbox that teaches a new tool. There is a structure, rhyme and reason to everything I send. For the first month of the Grounded Mind Program we clear out the noise in our heads. Then we learn to  ground our bodies, our energy, and even our lives. We also laugh a lot during meditation and let go of seriousness. So come open, be ready to explore yourself from the inside out, and create space for yourself to shift into your natural potential…really into that place that you have been looking for since you left the womb…a safe loving space where you feel fulfilled and complete. That space is inside of you now and always, and you just need to sit quietly for a bit, release some stuck energy and beliefs, and allow yourself to flower into your own enlightenment. And that enlightenment isn’t fancy. It isn’t a Buddha under a tree. It’s you at your desk, with your kids, running, living, and being human.

So meditate, enjoy yourself, find tools to help you be yourself, and know that fulfillment and happiness without stress and anxiety is possible. “

I hope you all enjoyed this and gained as much insight as I did from this information that Dave shared with us.  You’re also able to find Dave and Grounded Mind on his businesses Facebook page and @groundedmind on Instagram.

Once again, thank you, Dave!  You’re truly an inspiration and I appreciate your time and dedication to the wellness of those around you.

Until next time, hang tight, and utilize this time through 9/22/16 to truly reflect and recharge your mind, body, soul, and life.






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