Dear August, I’m Looking At You.

August 1st.  August 1st, 2016.  TWO THOUSAND AND SIXTEEN.  I am sure the rest of you are also just as mind blown as I am as to what the date is.  I am sitting here wondering where the hell this year has gone.  I feel like it was New Year’s Eve just yesterday.  I still remember the hugs and texts at midnight, drinking too much Veuve, and having my one cat, Samson, stare at me in the most judgmental way ever the next morning.  The other one couldn’t care less about me.  Samson, though…

An actual photo from New Year’s morning 2016.

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Today, being as shocked as I was that we’re here and now, I decided it was time.  I wanted to itemize some goals for August.  I am a firm believer in short term goals and long term goals.  I believe in speaking them out loud.  I believe in writing them down.  When these steps are taken, I feel that the possibility of fruition is heightened.  When did I become a real adult?

This week while on vacation, I was walking back to our house from the beach, beach chair strapped to my back, sand between my toes, head in the clouds, and I said something out loud that I was feeling at that moment.  I didn’t realize how much I may have wanted it previously, but it was a goal that I feel is attainable.  “In five years I am going to…”  Right, then, there, it was set.  Intentions solidified.  For the last few days I’ve thought about it over and over.  It’s exciting to know that you want something and you have the ability to work your hardest toward achieving it.

Now, I am not going to say what that goal is here, because my first short term goal is:

Not to tell too many people about my goals.

Set goals only for yourself.  It’s easy to become beyond excited over new goals or getting closer to achieving them.  But what happens when we fail?  What if we fail at something big after we told so many people about it because we were so certain?

i.e.: “What if I don’t get that job I was talking about?   What if I can’t lose those twenty pounds?  What if my dog really doesn’t love me the way I thought she did?!”

Here’s the deal, sadly, not everyone is going to be excited for you when you win and not many people will be sad with you when you fail.  We never intend on failure but it is part of life.  For instance, I just failed at eating raw brownie batter while I was mixing it.  I told myself not to do it, however, somehow, my fingers still wound up in the bowl and I was licking the remains off of the beaters like I’ve never seen food before.

Better luck next time, A. 

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However, I am going to slightly contradict myself and will share some more short term goals with you all.  Like 5ks, short term goals ARE NOT silly and they are just as important as long term goals.  They provide a constant state of thought, structure, and consciousness.  Here are my few for August and the rest of the year:

  • Unpack from vacation.  I told you he was a judgmental little jerk.

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  • Compliment people for more than what meets the naked eye.  This is very, very important to me.  I am totally guilty of complementing people on what meets the eye first. “Great outfit.”  “Your hair looks awesome!” “Your body looks amazing!”  It’s natural but I understand how crucial it is to see people for more than what meets our eyes.  I always want people to see me, for more than what they see, when they look at me, and I want to do the same for others.  The best compliment that I received recently (maybe in years) was that I was inspirational.  I cried for about a good twenty minutes.  I am really emotional lately, don’t judge.
  • Spend more time with my dog.  She’s the bomb even if she smells like a frito loaf.
  • Run a total of 83 miles this month.  I was born in 1983.  My birthday is this month.  Why the hell not?
  • Be easier on myself.  A lot easier on myself.  This is one of my biggest struggles this year so far.
  • Be sure to drink my Metamucil cocktail every night.  Is my age showing?
  • Be as kind as humanly possibly to people.  Always.  Even when they are rude.
  • Not to feel guilty when saying “no.”
  • For the times that I am sorry for my “fun” qualities or feel that I can be more mature (sarcasm, sense of humor, quick wit), just stop!  Just because I am a “grown up” (air quotes, grown up) doesn’t mean I have to be a total stick in the mud.

  • Read more books for myself.  Recently, I haven’t had the time to read something just for me.  It has always been work for school or other ventures currently on deck.
  • Slow down and be more mindful.  Last week while on my morning runs, I was truly in the moments and enjoying everything from the fresh salt air, to the different views, to the sun shining brightly as it was rising over the ocean.  I even had to tell myself to chill on my pace just to enjoy the time even more.  I wish I could go back and revisit certain times in life and just be in those moments for just a little while longer… but I can’t.  It has been a great learning lesson and wake up call to practice mindfulness as much as possible.  Shoutout to my therapist for helping me with this, always.  You’re the real MVP for dealing with me.

So, here’s to you August.   Please be good to me and to those around me, too!

(And I promise I will be good to myself, too).

XX,

AAS

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